Ah December...

The funny thing about growing up miserable is that you don't know that you're miserable. Its the same as any other form of sweet young ignorance. Rich kids don't understand what it is to be poor. Poor kids don't understand what its like to never have to eat the same left overs for 3 days in a row out of necessity (as opposed to frugality).

Look I know it sounds pathetic and all, but to me its funny to see the look on my girlfriends face when I tell her a story about how lame my childhood was. But if I were to talk about it like it bummed me out, it wouldn't get me anywhere would it? I can tell you a number of tiny slice-of-life stories from my upbringing (such as it was) that now I laugh at.

1. My mother sits us down the week before January and has a talk with all 3 of us about how we will be eating a lot of potatoes and eggs this month because money is tight. She doesn't want to hear us complain about it "Don't tell me that you don't want to eat what I make you. This is just another trial that The Lord will see us through". This is funny to be because this is not the first time this has happened, but my mother presents it as if its a huge shock. I look at my little sister and kind of roll my eyes. I look back on this often, because the irony of it is that I was in 4th grade, which means she was in 2nd. These two young children are so tired of this speech we are rolling our eyes at it like a couple of precocious assholes.

2. One December we lost our car, lost more money, and our home. We were given Christmas presents by a local church. The wrapping was so lame that I spotted a basketball right away. Its wrapped. I showed it to my little sister "Hey Leslie look at this!" and I dribbled the giant wrapped object around the house. It was hilarious. It was made even more hilarious by the fact that my little sister and I really didn't care at all, nor did we really want the presents. We were happy to get them of course, and thanked our lucky stars and all but the best part is I didn't realize until after high school "Oh shit, you know those poor families that have to receive donations to get by? That was us!"

3. My mother has moved us into another roach infested shit pile apartment building. We weren't going to move in, but my mother says "How did you get to be the manager's here?" to which the manager replied "Oh, that was the Lord".

Fuck.

That is all you had to tell my mother. Being a devout born again Christian she says "Oh you're saved how wonderful!"

2 weeks later she is crying because the roaches keep popping up, the bathroom doesn't work, and the neighbors blast music all night and day. There is a crazy old man who rented both apartments next to him and keeps them empty so no one bothers him. No really. You can't make this stuff up.

It gets better! My mother found a place across the street (Atlantic Blvd just south of Alhambra Rd. in the City of Alhambra). We didn't have any money (except for some cash I saved, as I managed to get a work permit that summer before high school) to give to anyone to help us move, or to get a truck, so exactly 3 weeks after moving in we found ourselves running across the street with a fridge, a sofa, mattresses and box springs. "Okay son there aren't any cars GO!" (Please note that I have done this many a time, and I am only 14 when this is happening. Lifting furniture and finding new ways to get it into spaces that are too small contributed to a major back pain issue now that I am older).

We would stay at our new digs for some time before another December we find out that this place we are now living in is being sold so that condos can be built on top of it.

Now that I can see the big Three Zero on the Horizon with my own kids I try to make them see that little things are more than what they seem, and big things aren't a big deal. I try to look back and ignore the nagging feeling in the back of my mind "December again, Christmas is around the corner, and you should be really sad right now."

There are some things that are really hard to unlearn. Some things maybe shouldn't be unlearned. Maybe some of that should be passed on in the form of appreciation for the things I have to my kids. Maybe I should teach them something new to make them better people.

Or fuck that, I'll just make another Joke and watch Glenda's reaction.

We are in the Toy's R Us looking for gifts for our little "deal breakers".

"Oh babe look its KerPlunk have you ever played it?

I say "Uh, no"

Glenda proceeds to tell me, with her big beautiful smile lighting up what is probably the most beautiful face I've ever seen. "You take turns removing a straw from the cylinder here (she points) and here (more pointing) while trying to keep too many marbles from falling through the tube and into your tray. You win when you have less marbles than the other person".

I would be an jerk to ruin this moment, as I can see in her eyes that she is remembering all the times she and her sister played and laughed at this game. She wants to get this game for our kids so they can enjoy it the same way. So they can grow up and remember this game for their children one day, or maybe just to show us how fun it is on their own.

I say...

"Oh I remember that game! Only we used plastic cups and rocks and sticks. We didn't call it KerPlunk though, we called it "Mom's working late again.."

Glenda's smile goes away "Asshole".


Zombie